Jowy’s Story - Chapter 1. The Lie and the Promise (Suikoden II Fan Fiction)

Suikoden II - Jowy's Story

A Fanfiction by Joanna Sherlyn Dunlap

"Suikoden" and all its characters therein are trademarks of Konami Co., Ltd. © 1995-1998.

English Translation © Konami of America, Inc.

Writer-Creator: Yoshitaka Murayama (Murayama-san, arigato!)

Chapter 1 – The Lie and the Promise

Jowy Atreides was excited. Finally, he was going home. Not that he wasn't proud to be a member of the Highland army's Unicorn Youth Brigade, he was just anxious to get back home to Kyaro.

Riou's probably anxious to see Nanami, he thought looking out across the countryside. The view was beautiful high in Tenzen Pass where they were camped. It was a quiet, secluded place, and so peaceful tonight. The air was cool, the stars shone brightly, crickets chirped and he could hear the faint rush of violent water in the distance.

It must be hard on Nanami. First Old Genkaku dies, then the war with the City-State happens and both Riou and I are shipped off. She must hate being alone in that dojo. I bet she jumped for joy when she heard about the peace agreement. She probably jumped so high she broke the roof! Jowy suddenly thought of his friend, Nanami dangling from the roof, only her kicking feet visible, and he had to chuckle to himself.

"Hey, Jowy," he heard his fellow soldier, Max. Jowy politely turned to listen. "Jowy, listen to this. It was my turn on watch tonight, but the Captain said to forget it. It's the peace agreement, I guess."

"Yeah, I guess. And he's so strict too. I bet he's just lax because he's sick of the war and ready to go home like us."

"No kidding. I can't wait to see my mom again. I miss her cooking! I'm sick of this slop we keep getting."

"One more night, Max, one more night."

"Hey!" Jowy looked around for the source of the new voice. It was Alex. Jowy rolled his eyes. Alex always tried to act big. "Hey, Jowy! Max! Go to sleep or the Captain will get mad!"

"Whatever," he whispered to Max, "Good night. I'm gonna see what Riou's up to. If I don't catch you tomorrow, then see ya later," he got up and jogged in the direction of his tent.

"Yeah! You too, Jowy!" he shouted after him, "Catch ya later!"

Riou was just finishing packing away his Highland uniform when Jowy came in. He had changed into his red tunic. His favorite yellow bandana that had been Master Genkaku's was tied around his neck. Both their tent-mates Michael and Daji were already asleep. Michael was snoring again.

"Riou, you changed already? You're sure in a hurry."

"Yeah," Riou blushed at being caught. The youth soldiers weren't supposed to be out of uniform till tomorrow morning. Then Riou's embarrassment left his face when he saw Jowy who had too had changed prematurely, dressed in his blue shirt and white pants. "Well, look at you," he motioned at Jowy.

"Yeah, me too," he admitted. "I thought about going back to Kyaro and I couldn't wait to get out of that uniform," he itched at spot where his helmet always chafed. "Hey Riou, Nanami is probably waiting for you to come back, huh? Since you're her only family since Master Genkaku died and all…If not for this war…" Riou's eyes widened at the mention of Genkaku and Nanami, and Jowy decided to change the subject. "So anyway, should we go to sleep soon? Or should we go outside? It's a nice night."

"Nah," said Riou. "The sooner we go to bed, the sooner it will be tomorrow."

"You're right. I want to go back to Kyaro at first light anyway." He was so anxious to go home, he hopped into bed with his clothes on. He smiled to himself when he noticed that Riou had done the same. "Good night, Riou."

"Night, Jowy." And then, "I wish Michael would shut up. His snoring's keeping me awake." Jowy laughed at the randomness from his friend, turned around in his bed, and fell asleep.

Jowy dreamt of sparring. It was a re-occurring dream. He and Riou were in front of Master Genkaku's dojo, younger. Nanami was pacing nearby. Jowy dodged a blow from Riou's tonfa and thrusted his staff back at Riou, who ducked out of the way and came at Jowy again. He felt his cheek sting where Riou's weapon made contact. Jowy retaliated by spinning his staff expertly and slicing the air above Riou's neck --

"Surprise attack!"

The dream rushed away and Jowy sat bolt upright. Michael and Daji were running out of the tent, strapping on gauntlets an pulling on helmets. Jowy swiftly turned to Riou, who's face had already committed to panic.

"Surprise attack?" Jowy shouted over the deafening cacophony outside, "But what about the peace treaty with the City-State?"

Riou got up, "We'd better check it out."

Jowy grabbed his dragon-tipped staff without even glancing at his armor. Riou had his tonfa in both his hands and he nodded at Jowy. Together, they ran out of the tent and into the inferno.

The entire camp was on fire. Everyone was screaming and crying. Jowy saw Alex making sounds he never thought he could make as his tent suddenly collapsed sending sparks and embers everywhere.

"Oh God…" Riou breathed beside him.

"Riou! Jowy!" It was Captain Rowd rushing toward them, the face of a soldier.

"Captain Rowd, what is this?" Jowy asked.

"It's a surprise attack by the City-State! They've broken the peace agreement, those scum!" He banged his fist on an imaginary table and spat on the ground. "It looks like we're surrounded. Take the mountain path to the east and save yourselves! Hurry!" the captain shouted before running off.

Jowy looked at Riou. His face was still a picture of panic, his shoulders heaved in anger, but his feet were stable and secure. "Let's run, Riou. We can't die here. Nanami will be all alone."

Riou nodded, his face suddenly strong, and they ran east.

Tenzen Pass was in pandemonium. Their fellow soldiers were everywhere: running, pushing eachother, wailing in agony on the ground. Jowy saw Max motionless in the arms of another boy. He was shouting at him. "Hey! Open your eyes! Max! Don't die on me, goddamnit!"

Jowy fought the urge to go to him. Getting Riou and himself out alive was the priority. He kept running. Riou stayed, looking at Max.

"Riou! Come on! Nanami!"

"Right!" Riou answered, looked down at Max once more, and followed after Jowy.

Catch ya later, Max, Jowy thought, not looking back.

Another two soldiers were trying to run away. One was injured so badly he couldn't walk, and the other was trying his best to support him. "Ah! It hurts!" the injured one cried.

"Don't worry," the other said, "I'll save you. We're pals, right?"

Jowy passed them, determined. He looked over at Riou to make sure he was still with him, thankful that he and his pal were not like the other two. They kept on eastward, continuing on unaware of the fire in their legs, until they reached the woods.

Jowy stopped, bent over to breathe, and looked deep into the woods. "Wait, Riou."

"What is it, Jowy?"

"Don't you think it's strange, Riou? The only way out is through these woods. The enemy must know that too. They might be waiting in the woods to ambush us."

Riou's eyes lit up in surprised understanding.

Jowy continued. "Let's go back, Riou. Let's tell Captain Rowd."

Riou did not argue. They ran back the way they came, harder and faster than they had run away. Why were they running back to what they had just run away from? The irony was so incredible, Jowy almost laughed.

Any potential for laughter ceased when Riou and Jowy saw the two friends laying still on the ground. Hadn't they just been fighting to continue a minute ago? Had they given up hope so soon? Riou stopped and knelt by them, his eyes watering.

"Riou! Damnit! We don't have time! If you want to save the others we have to go now!"

Riou looked up sharply at Jowy like a defensive animal. Jowy had never known him to behave so alpha before. It caught him off guard. But then Riou turned back at the boys, laid a hand on each of them and got up again. It didn't take but one second for him to catch up to Jowy. It seemed like everyone who was previously clinging to life was now gone. They passed Max and the other boy again, this time neither of them were moving, and both Riou and Jowy cast a prayerful eye toward them as they ran. I'll pray for his mother when we get out of this. Hell, I'll pray for all of our mothers when we get out of this.

Then Jowy heard something that made him stop dead in his tracks.

"It's just as we planned, Prince Luca. Everyone fled east through the woods." It was the voice of Captain Rowd.

Jowy grabbed a running Riou by his bandana and pulled him down behind some charred barrels of fish. The smell was awful, but Jowy thanked the heavens they weren't barrels of oil. "Shhh! Get down Riou!" he whispered vehemently, "Do you hear that?"

Riou looked at him, eyes wide. "Captain Rowd," he agreed. They looked up, concealed by the barrels, and continued to listen.

"The ambush worked perfectly, My Prince."

The Prince laughed violently. He was a terrifying young man with glistening armor and long shaggy black hair. He had the unfortunate reputation amongst some Highlanders as Mad Prince Luca, and now Jowy could see why. The prince seemed almost euphoric with the news. His mouth was the wide, split smile of a scarecrow, and his whole body shook with the laughter. "Poor victims of the State's 'betrayal,' eh? I wish I had joined the ambush. All I've had to fight lately is that old man. I'm getting rusty." He swung his hefty sword at a barrel, red fish heads spilling out of it like someone's intestines. Jowy again thanked the heavens that they were hiding behind the other barrels of fish.

"Y…yes," Rowd hesitated, "I mean no, no. Prince Luca's swordsmanship is truly unmatched. My men would look like fools."

Luca didn't bother to turn to Rowd as he spoke. He slashed through burning thing after burning thing around him, marking every other word with a blow so strong, it would utterly devastate whatever he was hacking into. Rowd and his men flinched every time. "Yes, well, the young men served their country well enough. Now we don't need a peace treaty with those State weaklings!" Jowy froze and could feel the hair on the back of Riou's neck stand up as Luca got closer and closer to their hiding spot with every swing. They ducked down further, making themselves as invisible as possible. Luca's swing rate seemed to be increasing. "I'll prove they're no match for the power of Highland!" He howled the last word like a demented wolf, and stuck his sword straight down into the barrel of fish hiding Riou. Jowy instinctively turned his eyes - too afraid to move his head - to Riou, who was staying still, obviously frightened out of his wits. Jowy sent another silent, desperate prayer to the heavens.

But the Mad Prince didn't notice the two boys. He laughed the Laugh of the Insane and practically danced back over to a terrified Captain Rowd.

"I agree sir." Rowd finally got the courage to say, "With you in command, Prince Luca, Highland can finally earn the glory it deserves!"

Luca stopped his dance as if stunned, and walked slowly over to Rowd, eyes crazed. Jowy saw a pool of wetness appear on the ground at Rowd's feet where there wasn't one before. Rowd's body trembled with each step the prince took. Then he bent down, twisted, and stuck his face so close to Rowd's their noses almost touched.

Then the prince laughed. Again. Right in Rowd's face.

Rowd nearly fell in relief and began to laugh himself a tired, frightened laugh. He looked over at his men pleading, and they all joined in the feigned laughter too.

Jowy knew that in this moment the prince and Rowd were loud and distracted, but the moment wouldn't last long. "What the hell?" he whispered at Riou.

Riou spared no moment. "Let's get out of here, Jowy."

"You're right, Riou. But if we go east, we'll be killed. That leaves the cliff to the north. Maybe we'll be able to escape if we climb up the cliff. Run north, Riou!" Jowy fought the stupid, juvenile urge to steal the prince's sword before running fast as an elf to the north. He didn't look back.

As the boys ran the winding uphill road of the once peaceful and beautiful Tenzen Pass, Jowy's mind was a blur of questions and confusion. What the hell was Rowd doing? The Liar! He had trusted him as his captain! They all trusted him! And the prince! What was the prince doing attacking his own country? His company! For god's sake, they there they Youth Brigade! They were boys - children! And now everyone was dead! He looked over at Riou, running like a champion, not once showing a hint of complaint. Everyone but me and Riou, he thought. They can't get us. They will never get us. Though Jowy felt his perfectly established world crumble around him, he knew this fact would always stand firm.

They stopped at the cliff, doubled over heaving and gasping. "Are…you…ok, Riou?"

Huffing, Riou looked up at Jowy and smiled weakly. Jowy smiled back, satisfied that his friend was okay. Then he caught enough breath to stand and case his surroundings. The cliff before them was a steep drop to a deep, fast-rushing river. The waterfall of Tenzen Pass pounded down the opposite cliffside in warning, making white water where it joined the river below. That wasn't good.

Jowy looked up at the cliff above him. It was too high, too steep, too smooth, and it was too dark out to risk climbing it. Besides, the cliffside going up was perfectly visible from the firepit that was once the camp. If Luca and his men stopped laughing long enough to notice them…well, they couldn't climb fast enough without rope and tools to make it to the top before meeting an arrow from one of Highland's Finest.

Highland's Finest. He scoffed at the thought.

Either way, they couldn't go up. He looked back down at the river below…

"That's it. Okay, Riou. We have no choice. We have to jump for it."

Riou stood and took a second to look around. He sighed and met Jowy's eyes, determined. "I guess there's no other way."

"Okay." Jowy took the biggest breath of his life and sighed out all of his fear. He knew very well what could come. He walked over to a large monolith at the base of the rising cliff. He raised his staff, with dragons crafted out of metal at each tip. The dragons looked up at him, waiting for their command. With one swift downward move, he made a diagonal mark in the monolith. Then he turned around slowly, and looked back at Riou. "If we make it…but…somehow get separated, let's return to this spot. That way we'll be reunited. Promise me, Riou." His request was half a command, half a solemn pleading void of all emotion. He would allow himself to break down later, but right now, he had no room for emotion.

Riou took his Twin-Fang Tonfar and walked to the monolith with the nobility of a king. He raised one tonfar and looked pointedly at Jowy. It was the second time Riou's looks had caught Jowy off guard that night. Without breaking his gaze, he sliced through the rock, like soft cheese, leaving a mark crossing over Jowy's in a grand "X."

Riou put down his tonfar and was himself again. Jowy gathered himself back up from Riou's pointed gaze and became himself again too. "Let's go, Riou."

And together, the two childhood friends walked to the cliff as men, looked again at eachother, for neither knew when they would see eachother next, gripped their hands together, nodded in unison, and jumped into the white water of the Tenzen River below.

Notes:

Damn, I really felt Luca breathing as I wrote this chapter. He has always been a menacing bastard, and now I'm seeing how fun it's going to be to write him. I hope you all enjoyed Chapter 1 (completed 9/8/08) Stay tuned for Chapter 2 coming soon!

-JSD ;)

Jowy’s Story - 0. Foreword (Suikoden II Fan Fiction)

Suikoden II - Jowy's Story

A Fanfiction by Joanna Sherlyn Dunlap

"Suikoden" and all its characters therein are trademarks of Konami Co., Ltd. © 1995-1998.

English Translation © Konami of America, Inc.

Writer-Creator: Yoshitaka Murayama (Murayama-san, arigato!)

Be kind. I took some artistic liberties, as all fic writers do, but I tried to stick to the story of Suikoden II. In this work of fanfiction, I am trying to put across a story in the same vein as the game, and therefore a similar rating on a PG-13 level is used. (Or rating M) There is mild-moderate swearing occasionally, violence (it is a war story after all), and suggested sexual content, though never shown.

At first I wanted to use the original Japanese spelling of "Joei," but then I thought that as a rich Highland kid with a father named Marcell, he would have had a more western name, and the spelling used in the game: "Jowy" was more appropriate. Every time I play this game, I name the Hero "Erik." However, to avoid confusion, I decided to use the novelization's "Riou." for the name of the hero. Keeping in line with future Suikoden games, I've decided to call the army of the City-State the "Dunan Army," and the name of Dunan's castle is "New Wind Castle." I figured it was an appropriate nod to the life the castle had in the past, yet also accepting it's rebirth and new function. I like to think that Viktor would have smiled at the name.

Foreward

I decided to write this after playing Suikoden II again. How many times have I played it since it came out? I still remember staying awake Christmas Eve 1998 to finish Suikoden I with all 108 Stars before I opened the second game the next morning. I had heard that there was a secret for those that uploaded completed 108-Stars files from the first game, and I was determined to play the sequel to my all-time favorite game the right way the very first time I played it. And then how my face lit up when I first experienced the opening sequence. But enough reminiscing, I'm not the Chief of the Warrior's Village… As I played it again, now ten years later, I got to thinking how cool it would be if Konami came out with a game from Jowy's point of view (of course they'd probably only release it in Japan, those bastards). When I first played the game, I saw Jowy one-dimensionally, as a traitor. After replaying several times and growing more mature myself, I became a combination of Nanami and Shu (oh GOD, that's a ship I NEVER want to think of!) Like Nanami, I wanted nothing more than all the friends to be united, and couldn't understand why they had to be separated. Yet, like Shu, I understood all the details, and what had to be done in the face of this grand war they were all tangled in.

Then I started to realize how complex Jowy was as a person, and I wanted to know more. I wanted to know what fueled him, what drove him, and how he justified making the hard sacrifices he made. I wanted to know what he did in L'Renouille for fun. I wanted to know the kind of things he and Pilika did together, to keep him sane when he was king. I wanted to know who his Stars of Destiny were. And, of course, I was always intrigued by the complicated yet simple relationship he and Jillia shared.

So I searched for a fanfic from his point of view. I don't often read fanfic, or write it for that matter, but I was a woman possessed. I had to experience Suikoden II from Jowy's eyes. I never found the fanfic I was looking for. And I quickly became so passionate about seeing Jowy's story, I decided to write it myself.

Jowy is an incredibly wise and intelligent man. Far more so than Riou. Where Riou has the strength of heart to bring people together, like a Bright Shield quietly protecting all he cares about; Jowy has the strength of mind and a will of iron, tempered sharp like a great Black Sword that is not afraid to cut through anything to reach the greater good, no matter the pain. Neither Riou nor Jowy are better than the other. They are simply two different people, like two different weapons. Both important. We have seen Riou's story. So now here is Jowy's story. It is what it is, and I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Thanks,

-Joanna

House Colors: Black, White, and Grey

This blog post assumes you have read all the books, watched all the films, and have at least read the script for the play “Cursed Child.” The essay is as long enough as it is, and doesn’t take up any extra space explaining exactly what transpired in the pages of canon. It assumes, that like many Potterphiles who would want to pick up this book, that you already know exactly what I’m referring to.

It’s also even more complicated now than when I wrote it years ago, with the realization of Rowling’s Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminism (TERF; a term used to describe transphobic feminists). I still love the Harry Potter works, the magical world embodied therein, and the millennial-fueled fandom filled with wholesome house-unity and the vision of a modern Hogwarts where muggle-born Ravenclaws magically hack their iPads to share Netflix with their pure blooded classmates; but supporting Rowling personally now is something I just cannot do, even as I celebrate the world she once created.

Each individual must do as they see fit, for not all can separate the work from the author (and no one should ever feel pressured to do so). I wrote this thing years ago, and I desire to share my complicated thoughts here, but please decide for yourself if this is content you wish to read, or if it is a topic you would rather steer clear of.

As a young girl, I loved fantasy. As your typical millennial geek, I grew up with such trappings as Willow, Narnia, Neverending Story, and of course, all the Disney Princess VHS tapes one could stuff into a cabinet. One common thread of these stories was that the distinction between good and evil was clear. The good guys wore your white hats, and the black hats all got their justice in the end. This aligned perfectly with the overtly evangelical Christian paradigm I was raised with.

As I got older, the world became less black-and-white, as it does for many adolescents and twenty-somethings who go through their loss-of-innocence phase. As my understanding of religion, philosophy, and social dynamics became less rigid, I felt the need for my stories to mirror those shades of grey.

Enter Harry Potter.

I got to Harry a little late. By the time I started reading, four books had been published, and the hype for the pending release of the first film was in full swing. By the first sentence, I was hooked, thankyouverymuch.

Like many fantasy-lovers, I was swept away into the world of magic, flying cars, and whimsical wizard schools. Escapism at its finest. We meet Harry when he is at the all-too-familiar impressionable age of youth. He is swept from a world of cruelty to a world of wonder, and he takes this new world at face value. Slytherins are bad, especially his rival Draco and the callous Snape; and Gryffindors are good, especially his besties Ron & Hermione, and the benevolent Dumbledore. It’s easy when you’re as young as Harry to simply trust what everything appears to be, and we as readers follow right along with him.

But as Harry ages, he begins to see the complexity of his new world. The Ministry is not to be trusted, the teachers he thought he could rely upon turn out to be Death Eaters in disguise, but certainly Snape is still bad and Dumbledore is still good, right?

Right?

From the Celtic myths of the Mabinogion, and Aesop’s Fables, to Star Trek and Star Wars, fantasy and science fiction have always held up a mirror to the real world through the more approachable lense of the fantastical, so we can more easily digest it. Like all of these great tales, Harry Potter lures us in with something fun and foreign, like a mystical world with a new culture to explore, governed by the rules of magic where the impossible becomes possible. But then, just as we start to feel at home in this new world, just as we begin to know these characters and call them friends, only then are we thrown a curveball, the starry curtain is lifted, and we see that this magical world is just as twisted and messed up as our own.

So much for escapism.

To address this world that appeared so black-and-white at the beginning, then shows us its grey underbelly, let’s look at two of the most important and dynamic adults in Harry’s world: Severus Snape and Albus Dumbledore.

I hate Snape. So much. I get sick to my stomach every time someone in the fandom mentions how much they love him. I mean, I love Alan Rickman too, but can we look at Book Snape? I mean, he’s a giant asshole!

Now, I’m a sucker for “the broken hearted bad boy who could have been good if just shown a bit of love.” I adore The Phantom of the Opera, American Horror Story’s Michael Langdon, Smallville’s Lex Luthor, Castlevania’s Dracula and Alucard, and a host of other characters. But I’ve never liked Snape. He turns his cruelty not toward adults, but children. He never outgrew what happened to him as a child, he let it fester, and he became a man of poison. His prejudice is so backward and disgusting, it almost seems Trumpian. And he repeatedly spewed that personal poison onto innocent children.

Why? To keep up a ruse of cruelty so he could more easily play triple agent for Dumbeldore’s grand plan (more on that later)? Because he was utterly broken by something that happened to him as a child, and he was never able to find resolution on it like adults are supposed to do, because the kid who was cruel to him grew up, married the girl he loved (to whom he himself was also cruel to, how’s the guilt there, Severus?), and then died before any resolution could be reached, and not only did he die, but she also died (more paralyzing guilt), and they both died by the hands of the side he chose in the war? (404 Error. Too much guilt. Does not compute.)

Something like that will mess you up big time.

Perhaps all that guilt stunted his emotional/social growth? Clearly, the Wizarding World needed therapy.

Still doesn’t excuse being a dick to kids. I’m all for firm and strict leadership, but he got down to pure old torture, and any school district would have had him sacked for less.

Regardless of how tragic his love story was, cruelty like his is always unforgivable.

Always.

As much as I utterly hate him as an educator, I acknowledge that he is an interesting and incredibly important character.

My feelings on him are super complicated. With every fandom-fueled conversation with Snape apologists, my views become less and less black-and-white, and more and more grey. Sometimes I can find forgiveness and understanding for him, sometimes I can’t. I pity him. I respect him. I hate him. I have no respect for him. I appreciate the existence of his character. The story needs his character.

In the end, he did a few large important things for good. And I really like his scene in Cursed Child (I know the play gets a bad rap, but at the very least, it does wonderful things for the view of all Slytherins, including Severus Snape). He shows some emotional intelligence in that scene. That there is his true redemption scene, not back in Book Seven where he forces a kid to whom he’s been cruel to all his life (because he looks like a man he hates) to bend down and look at him unblinking (because he has the eyes of a woman he loved).

What a complex character. Operatic. Shakespearean. Like something out of a Roald Dahl book (“Trunchbullian?”) His is a character you are unequivocally supposed to hate. At least in the first books. And then you see the complexity. The backstory. And then there’s the pity. It doesn’t excuse all he’s done. But perhaps it explains a bit of it.

I still don’t know what to think of Snape. I still hate him. But I suppose I can apply a bit of sympathy and grace when looking at his character? The world he lives in isn’t black and white. There is no more morally grey character than Severus Snape.

Or is there?

My world was turned upside down with Book Seven. Albus Dumbledore was my Rock. He was the foundation of joyful whimsy. He was our Obi-Wan, our Aslan. He was the only adult Harry could truly depend on. He was our number one guide to the light. Many of us were heartbroken when we lost him to Snape’s curse in Book Six, and even I conceded that there might be more to Snape than just pure evil, but Dumbledore was pure gold, and his loss was to be mourned, his memory ever to be honored.

But when the truth of his history came out in Book Seven...What happened with his sister? What his own brother thought of him? Dumbledore, the perfect, whimsical, parental god-figure; is seen in a new light when this secret dark past is exposed & we see his methods and his motives, literally raising a young boy for the slaughter, all for The Greater Good.

I thought we learned something from our boyfriend Grindewald. Did we not, Albus? Minerva said you had powers but were too noble to use them. Was she mistaken? Just because you don’t use a curse doesn’t mean that the manipulative game you’re playing with a child’s life is any less unforgivable.

Quite a stain on that Chocolate Frog Card.

I was devastated.

For a long time.

Then I realized that this is exactly the point.

Our heroes aren’t pure light. Our villains aren’t pure darkness. The world doesn’t work like that. Just as I was growing up and needing stories that illustrated that point, Harry was growing up to realize these truths for himself as well. At least I wasn’t alone on this journey. At least I wasn’t mourning the crumbling marble statue of the Ideal Dumbledore alone.

But does Albus play the manipulative long game with a child’s life because he thinks there’s no other choice? Does that excuse what he does? Does it somehow make it worse that he does it with a twinkle in his eye?

At least Snape is honest and up-front about how awful he is. Even then, Severus can do good, even if his motives are selfish and twisted. In comparison, Dumbledore’s motives are completely selfless and for the good of the society. And yet he does unforgivable bad while attempting to do good.

What an interesting foil these two characters are for each other. Are they equal in their wrongness? One more obvious, one more hidden? Is that fair?

Will we ever come to a decision on this as a fandom? I can’t even come to a decision on this as an individual.

I love Rowling’s writing of these characters because her readers grew up just as her main character did. So everything started so black and white, but by the end, you were questioning everything you thought you knew. The Lightning-Struck-Tower did indeed fall. And we, with Harry, are left to pick up the pieces.

Harry’s Wizarding World comes to us packaged in the wonder and whimsy of Whomping Willows and Bertie Botts. Only once we are hooked, are we shown the mirror of our own broken, beautiful world. This seemingly trivial children’s story helped prepare me for a more flexible approach in my every day life. Because I went on this journey with Harry, I see can see people like Dumbledore and Snape every day, and I can accept that there is more to them than what they appear at face value. No one person is either morally back or white. Everyone is a combination of shades of grey, and it is up to each of us to decide what to do with the information we are given. Books like Harry Potter remind us that the world is twisted and grey, and there is both darkness and light in unexpected places, but that there will always be a cause for whimsy and joy. Just take a bag of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans. You never know what flavor you are going to get when you pop a seemingly simple pill of sugar into your mouth, but I think we’ll be safe with a nice toffee, don’t you?

Alas, earwax.